BCS Names Patriots NFL Champs

2008 February 5
by Jason A Clark

Tom Brady of the New England PatriotsIn a stunning reversal of the outcome of the Super Bowl in which the New York Giants beat the New England Patriots 17-14, officials for the BCS (college Bowl Championship Series) have stepped in to proclaim the Patriots the true NFL Champions.

“It was obvious to everyone that the NFL made a huge mistake with this one,” said one unnamed BCS official.  “The Patriots only lost one game the whole season.  The Giants already lost to the Patriots and four other teams including The Cowboys and The Packers.  Do the math.”

BCS officials met behind closed doors late Sunday night after the Super Bowl victory by the Giants made it apparent that the NFL would name The Giants the champions.  Details of the meeting remain sketchy but reports indicate that the mood in the room was one of determined justice.  The BCS officials were determined to make right what they felt their “big brothers” in the NFL were getting wrong.

“This is why we don’t have a playoff system in college,” our source told us.  “You get this craziness of a 14-6 team being named champion over a team that’s 18-1.  It was just one game; three points.  You can’t take away all the winning they did over the other 18 games because a team got lucky for a few minutes in the fourth quarter of one game.  That’s insane.  In the BCS this wouldn’t even have been an issue.  The Patriots would have been the champs before we ever even played that bowl game – which is the way it should be.”

Members of the New York Giants football team have been keeping mostly quiet on the subject.  When asked his opinion of the matter, Giants quarterback Eli Manning cried out, “It’s not fair!” before bursting into tears and fleeing the room.

New England Patriots
Meanwhile, the Patriots are viewing the BCS’ announcement as further vindication and proof that they are, in fact, the greatest team in the history of teams.  “I always thought the BCS was pretty goofy, but now I see they have a lot of wisdom and a true understanding of what football is all about,” said Tom Brady, quarterback for the New England Patriots.

Bill Belichick is said to have smiled.

The NFL has not yet made an official comment.  Our sources tell us they are still researching the matter to see if the BCS is even a valid sports organization or if they have any actual jurisdiction over the NFL.  One source even confirmed the widespread belief within the NFL ranks that the BCS has been overrun with Scientologists.  The NFL is said to be pursuing the possibility of having the BCS named a cult by the US Government.

 
 
Please note: This is a fictional story designed to be humorous and satirical in nature.  The BCS did not really name The Patriots the NFL Champions nor did any of these people actually say any of these things.  This is all made up.

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